WEIGHTY WORDS

“Weigh your words carefully. They are heavier than you think.”

Yesterday my wife Cissy quoted these words to me. She heard these words of wisdom on a radio program in regard to raising children. Cissy quickly asserted the truth applied to all relationships.

In her not so subtle but sweet way she was reminding me of a comment I made about the dinner she prepared the previous evening. It was one of her favorite dishes, but one of my least favorite. I let my opinion be known with a very insensitive sentence.

When she pointed out the hurt of my words I tried to apologize, but the damage had been done. She could no longer enjoy her meal. To say the rest of the evening was a disappointment is an understatement.

Early the next morning while taking my typical morning survey of our yard, I noticed the first bloom of the season on our gardenia bush. I snipped the flower, popped it in a bud vase, and placed it in a prominent place in the kitchen. Attached was a post-it note (sorry I did not create a lovelier media) expressing my sorrow for my misspeak.

The token was very received and I am down the road on another day of grace and forgiveness.

In times past when I have spoken harshly Cissy simply said, “Settler’s Story” to let me know my error. The phrase comes from the title of a long poem by Will Carleton. I have recited the poem from memory to audiences.

These are the closing lines of the poem:

Boys flying kites haul in their white-winged birds:

You can’t do that way when you’re flying words.

“Careful with fire,” is good advice we know:

“Careful with words,” is ten times doubly so.

Thoughts unexpressed may sometimes fall back dead,

But God himself can’t kill them when they’re said!

You have my life-grief: do no think a minute

’Twas told to take up time. There’s business in it.

It sheds advice: whoe’er will take and live it,

Is welcome to the pain it costs to give it.